Greetings, gastronomic porn seekers! I am a young, obnoxious professional fat boy living in our nation’s capital trapped in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship with food (and sometimes fashion & travel - albeit to a lesser extent) constantly looking for trouble. Please join me as I self-validate and congratulate my outrageously large lifestyle through blogging in this little black book of my culinary sexploits. If you are not into ridiculously lewd commentary towards food, please exit this window immediately – this blog is enough of an invitation to a lawsuit as is.